November 4, 2012

           For this blog, I will post something I wrote in 2007.  I wrote this one day, after an argument with my parents, an argument that resulted because we simply did not understand each other AGAIN.  I felt so much better when I got this out on paper, over 5 years ago. And I probably do not need to point this out too much, if you have been reading my previous blogs.  You will probably “get”, right of the bat, that I am a “Creative” and my parents are hardcore “Practicals.” 

Being a “Creative”

            I have found that there are two distinct personality types.  People can either demonstrate traits that are described as more grounded, ones that illustrate the desire to adhere strictly to societal standards, therefore being classified as a “Practical”; or they can be a “Creative”, a person who either pursues the arts or has a great appreciation for them, and displays more traits of being emotional, or living by one’s heart and soul. Since I am a songwriter, writer, and musician, a fellow “Creative”, I felt the need to share what it is like to be one and what we “Creatives” offer society.

            In my opinion, “Creatives” have had special gifts bestowed on them, gifts they are to use to touch the lives of fellow “Creatives”, as well as the “Practicals”. Without “Creatives” to utilize their gifts, the world would be a very dismal place, void of a great deal of feeling, emotion, and passion. Beauty from creative expression would not exist without someone to write that beautiful song, someone to bring to life a character on the big screen, or someone to paint a picture that touches many souls and can not be forgotten. Just as everything God created in nature is beautiful and touches human beings, so do the things that come from creation from the heart and soul of those who have been given these gifts.

            “Creatives” live on another realm, a higher one, many of which are very spiritual and emotional. Their highly emotional state of being able to feel strongly, enables them to be open to inspiration, to receive what is coming through them and capture it often by just “writing it down”. Many “Creatives” admit it is a spiritual experience when they write, paint, portray a certain dance, perform their music, design a certain article of clothing from a vision or a custom web page from scratch, etc.

            “Creatives” are blessed in the way that they value living open to possibility. They are not slaves to the rules of society that the “Practicals” are so concerned about. Yes, “Creatives” get real jobs and pay their bills. They abide by the laws, but they also march to a different drummer that only they and fellow “Creatives” can hear.  “Creatives” don’t let societal rules dictate to them how to live their lives. They live by what is in their hearts and souls, and they have the wisdom and passion to hold fast to what they believe in.  They won’t let anything or anyone change what they believe to be true for them. They believe that anything is possible, if people believe and work hard.  They don’t let logic and fear stand in their way. They are risk takers. They do see the grass on the other side and 9 times out of ten, it is greener once they get there.

            “Creatives” value the freedom to act when they become inspired, to express themselves any minute any day, when they feel to do so. Most “Creatives” are very articulate and love to communicate (express themselves), share their thoughts, ideas, feelings, etc. Most are highly intelligent self starters who don’t need anyone to direct them on what to create. “Creatives” usually enjoy being around people, and they exude confidence and feel very comfortable in their own skin. They know they have a special gift and they love to flaunt it. To know that gifts you have been given, touch other people’s hearts and souls-that is a beautiful thing. 

             “Creatives” may show a confident tough exterior, but at the same time have a vulnerability that allows them to feel deeply. They can be sensitive and their feelings can be hurt easily, if someone says something negative about what they do or believe in.             When the Holy Spirit moves “Creatives”, He moves them.  And often times, it will and should take precedence over mundane, practical things, the minor things- of course not jobs, but other things that can be postponed a little, in order to get those thoughts and ideas on paper. They are coming from a place beyond human comprehension. It is a gift.

            Without actors, dancers, writers, painters, radio announcers, songwriters, musicians, singers, architects, and anyone else who is pursuing the arts, we would not know beauty that came to be by human beings opening themselves up and letting the inspiration through, capturing it and sharing it with other people. We would not feel emotion and be affected by what they saw or heard. It would not bring us to tears or lift our souls or provoke us to positively take action. We would not feel passion or be inspired. Basically without the “Creatives”, without TV, plays, operas, art museums, music, movies, all the things needed after a hard day at work in order to unwind, life would become unbearable, never having the chance to take your mind off everyday life and escape to someplace better.

            When people experience what “Creatives” do, their quality of life improves. They are reminded that they are still alive with feeling. I wouldn’t want to think of what life would be like without “Creatives”. Would you?

God bless,

Living While Waiting


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October 9, 2012- Part B

           First blog-the Introduction. Second blog-the Background…

     The more I pursue other things, the more I find, I am drawn right back to what I was originally feeling I should be doing with my life. In this waiting period, I have learned the hard way, it is better wait on the Lord and let Him work out what it is He showed you or told you, even if it was years ago. If He said it, it will come to pass, but it will be done in His timing.

     Running about frantically and trying to make “other” things happen, because you get frustrated, impatient or feel you are becoming a burden to other people-that won’t work. In fact, that will get you in more of a dilemma, if you try to go off in other directions.

     And believe me I know all about frustration. One word that describes frustration to a “t” is DIALUP!!!! I appreciate all my family has done for me and helped me with bills, etc. but dial up. Well that is one of the things I really am having a hard time with. “God PLEASE help me to get Wifi!” Sitting there for half an hour waiting for one page to load!!!! Sitting there for an hour to download one song…. as I yell, scream, start to cry, put my hands on my head, sooooo tempted to throw the computer through the window, wanting to crawl up in a ball and just sit there, because that is ALL the computer seems to be doing with the SAME webpage that is frozen, not moving at all!

     It is very frustrating when nothing you do makes money. And you are REALLY trying. Gifts, talents abilities, we all have them, but it it soooo easy to forget them when you have been spending weeks, months and for some of us YEARS in our parents’ basements, one little bedroom, or on the living room couch, some with spouses and kids. That is how bad the economy has gotten lately. It is very strange when the news tells a much different story. Hmmm, I wonder who is telling the truth, the media spin doctors who support their favorite politician, or the folks you know of down the street or at the welfare line who are the victims of the REAL state of our economy.

     It is so easy to forget that at one time in my life, I was a college graduate, interning for the government before I even graduated. I was a go-getter. I worked very hard. I set my sights on my goals, worked hard and achieved great things. (And I still am and still do! As you still are, and still do)!

     But then in 1995, I had a setback. My health… and that saying is true- if you don’t have your health, you don’t have much. I lost that job and I went through two marriages and two divorces, and now at the age of 41, I have lovely dial up, no cell phone, no home, no freedom, little independence and I am several thousands of dollars in debt to my family.

     It’s hard to remember that I was babysitting almost every kid in the entire subdivision at the age of eleven. I always had part time jobs in High School and in the summers. I started my own record company, a little one, of course. But still, I created the record company name, got and paid for the UPC code. I created the company logo. I wrote the music for my CD and performed it, played instruments on it, designed the dress for the CD cover and a neighbor lady sewed it for me.

     Yes, I was ambitious. And then after I got sick, I still maintained that ambition. I did a podcast show out of my house, using a digital recorder, phone and program on my computer to create interviews with music artists and bands. I interviewed them and plugged in some of their songs. I didn’t get paid for that. I also wrote countless songs for over 20 years. None of my songs went anywhere. 

     I did some freelance writing for local papers and got a few dollars for the published stories. I had my own column and got paid something for that too. But that all fizzled out and, I never made enough money on those “creative” things to support myself. That only produced pin money. But nowadays, I would love to have pin money, something green in my hand again. I haven’t made money for so long, I have forgotten what it looks like, as I am sure many of us have. Now, many of us have only a faint memory of having something to buy things with. Now, we have to rely on the kindness of family and friends. And even with that, you will probably get a few words along with that kindness, suggesting that we didn’t try hard enough to get that job or we are not really sick. We simply are lazy and do not want to work.

     Am I sick of hearing that one! Oh well, that is why I am grateful for others in the boat I am in. We get to vent together. We get to encourage, support and pray for each other. We may be getting physical help from certain people in our lives but the emotional support, while it may come from others, it is still very valuable; for it is that support that helps us to remember that we do have a lot of things for which to be grateful, things God has given us that can NEVER be taken away by anyone.

     And when we remember who we are, and the talents, gifts, abilities He gave us, we can at least remember we are worthy. We have a lot to offer and that is the first step- to get enough strength and keep knocking on doors, keep trying when every single door we knock on seems to keep slamming in our face. We need to keep knocking and never stop, because one day that door will swing right open!

God bless,

Living While Waiting

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October 9, 2012



       I woke up yesterday and decided that I am going to take action on a conviction I had for sometime. I am to write a blog. I am to share “something” with other people.

       I wondered about the title of the blog, the picture and choice of topic. And then it very quickly, just came to me. I knew the best thing to do is write about something you know about, and there is nothing I know more about than being a person who is in the same boat as many other people in this world at the present time-not having much by worldly standards, but knowing there is much value in who God created you to be.

       This blog will be about what it is like to go through a rough patch, a trying time. It will showcase feelings, and thoughts. I will share daily experiences of being in a “holding tank” and making the best of it.

       It will be totally anonymous, the title and username. For in being anonymous, there can be freedom to say what I want to say and not be held back, because someone near and dear to me, who I may have a feeling about, etc., may find out he or she was a supporting character in my life story (for that day), and that person may not be too pleased.

       Writing a diary-like blog is freeing, therapeutic. I hope people will like it. I hope it will touch people, help them, but even if no one reads it or even likes it for that matter, I know right now in my life, I have to write it for myself. I need to get out on paper, my struggles, challenges, frustrations and share them, knowing I am not alone. So many people in the world, I know, are going through the same type of situation.

       I am a firm believer that it is a good thing not to feel alone. I’m sure there are many adult children out there living with their parents or family members, like I am having to do, due to a health “challenge” and negative financial situation.

       There are many people who are having a very difficult time making ends meet and feeling like they are in a hole they will never find their way out of. Well, I know God is working out my situation, and He is working out yours too. So, turn to Him and have faith, He is working right now to one day, get you in a better place; and until you get there, He is walking with you, and when needed, carrying you. He never leaves you. You are never alone and you will make it through this-we all will!

God bless,

Living While Waiting

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